


Cor the Immortal Is

by Moggiye20



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Cor is Chuck Norris, Crack Fic, M/M, but better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 18:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20247142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moggiye20/pseuds/Moggiye20
Summary: Prompto gets the idea to promote how awesome Cor is. It gets a bit out of hand.





	Cor the Immortal Is

**Author's Note:**

  * For [notavodkashot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notavodkashot/gifts).

> [Notavodkashot](https://twitter.com/notavodkashot) was really upset that we as a fandom never compared Cor to Chuck Norris so I tried to fix it xDDD

Prompto was laying upside down on Noctis’ couch, dividing his attention between the magazine he was reading and Noctis playing the latest Final Fate. “This article about Cor is so underrated,” he complained. “They’re painting him like he’s retired! What the hell? No wonder he’s been grumpy.”

Noctis snorted, eyes glued to the screen. “Nah he’s grumpy cause Captain Drautos keeps sending his squeeze out to the front lines.”

Prompto giggled. “Really dude? Squeeze? I think I can feel Nyx’s outrage from here. But seriously Cor’s so awesome he has two speeds; walk and kill.”

Noctis grinned. “You should start a Kwehtter trend; #CorTheImmortalLivesOn.”

Prompto flipped effortlessly into a proper sitting position beside Noctis and pulled his phone out. As he typed away Noctis added, “The average bedroom has 745 items Cor can use to kill you including the room itself.”

“Cor sheds his skin twice a year.”

“Gross!” Noctis laughed. “Cor once shot down an Imperial dropship with his finger by yelling ‘bang!’”

“There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Cor allows to live,” Prompto typed away madly.

When Ignis arrives later on to make dinner he watches from the kitchen as the two boys giggle over their phones, game on the TV abandoned. “What pray tell, are you two giggling over?”

“Cor,” Prompto bit out before both boys burst out laughing.

“He’s so badass and the mag-magazines are trying to say otherwise,” Noctis choked out, wiping tears from his eyes. “So we’re spreading propaganda!”

“Dude, it’s actually trending!” Prompto yelped. “People are re-kwehtting me!”

“Oh dear Shiva, what have you two been spreading?” Ignis wiped his hands on a dish cloth and pulled his phone out, tapping away to pull up Prompto’s account. His eyebrow rose with every kweht he read. “‘Cor can divide by zero #CorTheImmortalLivesOn. Cor doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks one pin down and the other nine.’ This is ridiculous.”

“Most propaganda is, Specs, you know that,” Noctis got up and stretched before grabbing Prompto’s phone. “Here, add one. I can see the ideas rolling around in your head.” He offered, ignoring Prompto’s protests.

Ignis resisted for a solid 30 seconds before caving.

* * *

“You’re home early,” Cor rumbled, closing the front door. Locking it, he sat down to undo his boots. “I thought your team wasn’t due to arrive until tomorrow morning.”

Nyx shrugged from his place at the kitchen table. “We finished faster than anticipated. Granted we could have finished even faster if you were there to skewer the enemy with your beard hairs.”

Cor paused in taking off his second boot. “What?”

Nyx grinned and got up. He grabbed two beers from the fridge and offered Cor one when the man joined him at the table. “His Highness and his friend were bored and started a social media trend about you. Crowe particularly enjoys, ‘Cor doesn’t step on toes, he steps on necks.’ I think it all started because of that old interview you did for Lucian Time Magazine.” He pulled his phone out and tapped at it before showing Cor.

Cor failed to keep the amusement off his face. While the kwehts were absurd, the comments under each kweht brightened his day. The known Nif supporter accounts tried to spout retort but they were drowned out by people making their own additions to the idiot trend.

“The media is having a field day,” Nyx said, “Pelna says the Citadel media correspondent has released a statement stating they support your war record but can neither confirm nor deny the statements posted online.”

Cot snorted and downed the rest of his beer in one go. “Of course they would.” He stood up with a sigh. “I need a shower.”

Nyx stood with him and pulled him by his hips. “Maybe when you’re done you can take this behemoth for a ride and maybe not get me pregnant.” 

Cor pushed him aside. “Just for that you can sleep on the couch.”

“What?! Oh c’mon I saw you read that, you were laughing your ass off in your eyes,” Nyx protested.

“Scientia will be running laps for a week for that remark,” Cor grumbled, heading to their room, stripping as he went.

“Lemme apologize? I missed you.” Nyx followed after him, stopping in the bathroom doorway.

Cor looked him over had he turned the shower on. “Oh I don’t know about that, I’m worried I might thrust right through your skull with my immortal dick strength.”

Nyx grinned. “That’s a risk I’m happy to take.” 

He stepped in and shut the door.

**Author's Note:**

> How many jokes do you count?
> 
> Thanks for reading come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/moggiye20)


End file.
